As I feed my Ancestors
With bourbon, with food, with dance, with burnt herbs, with blood, with songs, with promises.
That they hold those that are kinfolk close
Protect their lungs from gas
Protect their bodies from bullets
Protect their faces from recognition
Protect their wrists from shackles
May their eyes be sharp enough to see the embedded
May their phones work, their videos load and their signal never jammed
May they have access to all they need
May they be supported by their communities
O Mighty Dead
Move with them as they move forward
O Mighty Dead
Move with us as we move forward
O Mighty Dead
Move with me as I move forward
As we uprise, rise up with us!
• • • • • •
Everywhere! ✨Social justice conversations consistently center white people’s narratives and make them feel like the “good white person” or the “woke white person”. A lot of the content is copied and reposted from Black and Brown creators. The language and offerings are often appropriated from the lived experiences of Black and Brown folks, and is then used to make a profit and increase their social capital. The Black and Brown creators go without credit and payment, and are pushed further into the margins of social justice work as white audiences continue to center themselves.
Look at your favorite white social media content creators, they most likely have thousands/millions of followers and endorsements. Meanwhile accounts of Black and Brown people are being policed, reported, and targeted by trolls while their work is stolen and repackaged by these top names on social media. It is past time to center the voices and narratives of Black and Brown people. It is time that Black and Brown people get paid for our emotional labor and given due credit for our content. We need to turn down the volume on those who are profiting from our experiences and start listening to marginalized folks. We can’t let privileged folks continue to expand their social capital and profits while oppressing others. We challenge you to Amplify Melanated Voices this week, and silence the white narrative. •
#amplifymelanatedvoices #reclaimingourtime #reclaimingourspace #centerourvoice #blackvoicesmatter #mutewhitenoise #complicatethenarrative #diversifydietetics #blackdietitian #nothingaboutuswithoutus #eachoneteachone #centermarginalizedvoices #centermarginalizedbodies #fatpositivedietitian #allfoodsaregoodfoods #allbodiesaregoodbodies #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderdietitian #weightstigma #socialjustice #qtpoctothefront #buildanewtable thinking beyond #haes #intuitiveeating #bodytrust #antidiet #dietculture #antidietdietitian
Briana has used my image again without my consent or a model contract.
This is a white woman subjugating a Black body
This is the kind of casual ass disregard that leads to, inspires and is at the root of violence against Black people.
Despite how solid I may sound I am shaking with rage, my heart feels like it is going to stop, all my nerves are on edge. My brain is having trouble latching on to things. I'm questioning if I'm even making sense because I shouldn't have to explain this.
I shouldn't have to contextualize or compartmentalize this
I shouldn't have to deconstruct or decode this
Especially in this moment
I did a photoshoot with Briana for a project name eXXXtraordinary that focused on Fat people finding and creating opportunities for success.
I was initially excited about the project but my first few meetings regarding it indicated that working with Briana would be harmful to me as she had not done her work around race and I didn't want to expose people in my network to her or cosign.
She said she understood then sent a lengthy "apology" note that could have been shortened down to three sentences: I have Black and Brown friends. I have done social justice stuff for years. You don't know me.
I felt hella good about not being in her project. On May 23 almost a year after this shoot Briana used my photo for advertising a different project (pic 2). I asked her to take it down. She did and then proceeded to push back, gaslight then threaten with legal because I didn't want to negotiate my body, my image with her(included in pics 3-9)
I posted the text conversation to FB. Several people reached out to her without success. She texted again on the 24th (pic 10)
Today she posted another photo from the set (pic1) This time an image of us together.Ironically this one says "I have great boundaries" 🙃🙃🙃 When she was confronted she took it down from her FB page. The solo photo is still in her Instagram highlights.
I have nothing to do with fatgirlfindslove
I do not consent to my image being used in this way
I do not consent to white people using Black people in advertising as performative inclusion, representation and allyship.
TW: ED *
The insomnia is getting intense.
I'm trying to unpack past and complex fuckery without leaning into the ED that manifested from these damn past and complex fuckeries. That's way easier to do when I'm rested.
Navigating this world as a Fat Black Femme and someone who has lived in several abusive situations has me out here feeling like I have very little control over anything. I've used restriction as a way to experience control.
I've also used restriction as a way to punish myself for the societal and self-imposed, often inaccurate assessment of being simultaneously not enough or too much.
I've even used restriction to prove to myself that I do indeed have discipline.
When I'm rested I can deal better with being constantly triggered by a fucking sandwich or a certain smell, a song, a friend phoning that I haven't heard from in years.
But the past few nights... I'm waking up into panic attacks.
I'm suffocating into my CPAP and sitting up so fast that I pull it off the nightstand.
I'm shaking and clawing to get a grip. I try to do some kind of gentle check in
How are you feeling?
What are you feeling?
What do you need?
It's going to be okay.
Don't feel bad for falling apart.
I'm going to be okay.
Sometimes it's enough and I'm able to fall back to sleep but tonight I'm just waiting for people to start moving around the house
for the smell of coffee and the sound of car doors opening and closing outside my window
for the sun to rise so I can feel okay
This anxiety and insomnia is frustrating.
I need my brain meat functional because it's tricky navigating an undiagnosed ED professionally unassisted while on insulin. I think I'm doing fine but then I'll get shaky, my words will slur and my heart will race, I'll start to sweat and a test will point out that my BG is too low. I'm still not eating enough.
A few days ago I dipped to 60.
Lower than that and I could pass out and fall on my face. On👏🏿My👏🏿 Faaaaace👏🏿 I totes like my face and myself way too much for that to be an option.