Names are spells My mother knew this So my brother’s first name was to make sure he was strong and his middle name was to ensure that he would be rich. Names are spells My mother knew this So she named me for her mother She gave me the name of the first person to…
Author: Rawiyah
Baptism
I have been baptized more than once. The first time happened before I could even remember. My mother said that I shriekedlike someone had set me on fire. I’ve seen the pictures. I looked hella uncomfortable.Dressed in white, screaming as a Catholic priest held me over a white marble pillared basin.Water frozen in time between…
New Meds, Who Dis?
New Meds, Who Dis!?!?!? My current mix is:AbilifyLamictalGabapentinLexapro tapering down by half I can’t wait to be off of the Lexapro completely because I am getting the side effects of insomnia.It’s not safe to just stop right out. The psychiatrist had me cut down by half which was considerable and I am feeling the effects…
Storytime: Get you a nerd
This weekend two people I just love to pieces were talking about gravity. How it’s a function of the curvature of spacetime and how “bodies” interact with it. While simultaneously being mind blown about how much sense this makes, finding out that Bae had minored in physics at Pen and trying not to succumb into…
I wasn’t a love child
I know because I asked. I had to be 7 or 8 My mom’s fingers splay out over the blue and white checkered tablecloth that she kept meticulously clean while we lived on Alexander Street. She seriously contemplates for a moment before looking at me and saying “I really don’t know why I kept having…
Pleasure, Pride & Prejudice
Being out here in all this heat is making me crave watermelon. And like most things felt thru this craving comes with its own memories. One summer I was sent to stay with some distant relatives in Opelousas Louisiana. I wasn’t ready. Like city folk need some education on the conTREE before we go and…
The disrespect of it all
Between the Veils is this weekend. This event was built on the ashes of something I helped burn down. With the energy of the roots that I called to be pulled up. I wasn’t invited to participate in the creation of this new event, open, keynote or teach. I was offered a ticket to attend…
Secrets
22 years ago I gave the closing address to Xavier University Preparatory High School’s class of 1999 I was 17 years old I remember my rolling stone of a father showing up and when the parents were asked to stand for recognition my brother’s Godfather glared him down in a silent gay rage The thought…
For children of toxic mothers: A Self Exorcism for Mother’s Day
A touch late on posting this here. The weeks leading up to Mother’s Day and the weeks after are still a fog. There is a lot happening in the world and even with all my grief over it and the ambient grief of others, there was still room for me to mourn my mother and…
Debridement
When she spoke into the silence the sound of her voice shocked me so much that she had to repeat herself, loudly. “What’s wrong with your teeth? They look awfu!l” I fought the reflex to cover my mouth. “They’ve been like this since the braces came off mom. I haven’t had the money to get…