OkStupid # ohgodwhocankeepcountanymore?

Him: ( after 2 months of relative of silence) bonjour renie! how have u been? i am with a bisexual female friend who likes your pics. She is from France, i would to introduce you to her Me: lol… no.   I really wish I could be angrier about this one!  There is this nonchalance…

Not that kinda party.

(written after an interaction with an uber driver on my way home from performing at the Uptown Club in Oakland)   You… You saw a happy, tipsy, fat, black woman and assumed I was a straight club girl on her way home from a night of partying. You assumed I was blowing off steam after…

submissive… but not to you

 Trigger warning (sexual abuse/non- consent/violence) Her: Don’t put yourself in that position anymore Me: Don’t put myself in that position denotes that I could have prevented it by being what…clairvoyant. Damn my lack of ESP now I just have PTSD. Why wasn’t I born a Betazoid!? For reference the “position” was a date with someone…

Decolonizing the self

I don’t have the right words. I am not an academic. I just have a feeling and it makes me angry for multiple reasons. I am angry because I cannot unsee these things I am angry because I have to do the work I am angry because I am going to step on toes I…

Trust

I thought that I had escaped unscathed There were no arguments, no fighting, no raising of voices.  It ended how it began…quietly and in the dark.  As the rain came down in thick soft dollops that penetrated through our hooded sweat shirts the sharp cold woke me up, refreshed me, cleansed me. It was easy, the…

Love means…

that you are loved.   My romantic relationship has ended but I am still deeply loved.   I am no longer going to sleep  in someones arms but I am still being held close.   I am no longer coming home to someone but when I arrive I am greeted with incredible warmth   I…

Fashion and Design (a rant)

I do not want a fashion designer   I want a goddamn engineer to make the speed of my curves rival that of the autobahn   I want an interior designer to mold my frame with gold lame   I want a mathematician to calculate the exact type and tautness of my fabric so that…

My Body’s not a Cage

“My Body is not a Cage” was written for “Burlesque and Why”   a stage play produced by Dottie Lux, the founder of Red Hots Burlesque.  Her goal was to give the audience an insight into what is beneath the glitter and glam.  A chance to see that our performances are deeper  than the foundation…

Werkin It Out

I want to say that it started as a massive screw you to every magazine, every movie, every bully on the school yard, every very concerned stranger and condescending asshole. I want to say that my decision to dance burlesque was an exquisitely executed physical “bite me” to that girl that giggled when I walked into the gym.I want to say that I started stripping in defiance…