I find my lack of faith disturbing


A friend reached out to me today. Someone I’ve known for over a decade. We don’t talk often but when we do it’s always been a bit transformative. She has a way of hitting the nail on the head with precision and a gentleness that I’ve only seen in people who are truly strong.
I admitted that I felt like something was missing
It took awhile for me to realize it was confidence

I have a very tenuous relationship with confidence.
It’s why I laugh every-time someone tries to tell me I am confident as if it were a compliment. I’ve considered the assumption to be an erasure of how much work I have to do in order to do anything. I began to think of it as a contemptuous word because it was a currency I couldn’t deal in.

Defiance I have in spares but confidence?
Truth is I want to know what confidence feels like beyond 5 mins in a spotlight
Truth is I’ve been running away from some brilliant things
Truth is I’ve been running away from myself

So she told me the story of the Runaway Bunny
She said
You have to be your own Mama Bunny.
When you run away, run back to yourself and love yourself enough to be your own safe place.
Be proud of yourself.
So proud that you want to see yourself happy and fulfilled.
You give that to so many people… You deserve it too.
Don’t be Vader… Be a bunny.

Thank you Tara πŸ’œπŸ°πŸ’œ

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