Today is my birthday

I’m looking through the pictures… trying to see if I can see my house in them.
Mother calls… its a bad day
a bad day
for us both
she cries… I don’t
she apologizes… I tell her its okay
to not be okay
I am hesitant to ask about friends and family but I have to know. I ask her about Courtney
she says she does not know
I ask for Courtney’s number, I dont ask about anyone else.
I dont want to think about it.
I dont want her to think about it.
she cries… apologizes… tries to find a reason why Why WHY?!?!??!!?!?!
This happened. Everything happens for a reason. What lesson is to be learned from this. Why WHY WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this?
Sometimes…
I tell her
Sometimes things happen to us because there is something that needs to be taught to the enviroment of those around us. We experince the karma because we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. This storm… this perfect storm. Did we create it ourselves? Did we mess up the earth so much with out toxins that we created this storm? Were our govenments so intent on other issuses and corrupt in other places that we were left wide open, defenseless our levee inadaquate? Did we need to be humbled like those who lay beneath the stones of Babble’s greatest tower? Did we need to know that we can not exist alone. That we must work with the peoples of the world. That we are not all powerful… that we are all the same. And sometimes the world is just chaotic… life chaotic?
I search for reason
I search for people
I search for home
I see a old man pulled from out of a building.
A hole in the roof.
Delivered
from the hot wet dark place.
Birthed back into the world
It is his birthday too