I don’t know who needs to hear this but…

I’ve had #excellence shoved down my throat so deep it owes ME money.

#BlackExcellence was beaten into me in an attempt to protect me from white supremacy and fuckshit. The messed up thing about this is that this kind of excellence is often informed by the anti-Blackness it was meant to keep me safe from.

Assimilation was a big part of that
-You’re not like other (fill in the blank)
-You’re so articulate
-I’m surprised you like (fill in the blank)

My people were so busy keeping me alive that I didn’t get to live until I almost died.

I love how our bodies move, how we suck our teeth, how sometimes our laughter is terrifying
I love the shape of our hips and the gap between our front teeth
I love the deep wisdom of my “under-educated” elders who mix three sixes and are okay with biting the shells of crabs right off

I am not royal
I am not gold
I am not a pearl

I am mixture Mississippi Delta and raised grave dirt
I am pink lotion, shea butter and biscuits
I am fried okra, marijuana and molasses
I am a few well placed prayers mixed with curses

I am common and that commonality is excellent because it makes me accessible, human, messy and wonderful

In this time of liberation I liberate myself from the notion that my life is merely what I can do with it

The bar that has been set before me is at least twice as high as my white counterparts and I have hung myself repeatedly trying to reach it

I matter
My Black Kindred and Fam,
You matter
We don’t have to be Black Excellence to matter
And if you choose to be it then make sure it is for you, defined and informed by YOU

Now go smoke a joint
Fuck someone worthy of you
And take a napπŸ–€

One Comment on “I don’t have to be excellent to fucking matter

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