posting early because this weekend I will be too busy doing epic wildness, imbibing epic amounts achol. soaking up mega love rays like sunshine and  in various states of undress in multiple compromising positions (because of a photoshoot you wonderful freakniks)

 

 

A few days ago

I wanted to crawl into a tub,

slit my wrists and drown in my own emo-globin.

Don’t worry

It happens every year as I get close to my birthday.

 

I start(like soo many of us do) to look at what I did or rather DID NOT do in the past 365, I reviewed a glaring account of my faults and mistakes and shortcomings.

 

It was really pathetic.

Thankfully I have a really great roomie.

 

When I talked to her about how emo I was getting she basically told me I was smokin the crack.  That someone will always do more and be more than I am.  That I can not judge myself on that.  That I have to look at what I have done and how many people I have touched or affected and judge myself on that.

 

That list is full of the awesome:

left a stable job to pursue my own dreams

continued to dance with Rubenesque Burlesque shakin the supersized naughty bit shamelessly for all the world to see

allowed myself to fall in love with a wonderful man

participated in panels regarding open sexual and spiritual beliefs

survived swine flu

humped the pole at Circus Circus

dyed my hair red, orange, pink and purple

apologized to my mother for being a pain in the ass

finally accepted the fact that I deserve to be happy

and much more stuff that my already sleep deprived brain won’t let me remember

 

My life is not perfect

Actually it is perfect

in a diamond kinda way its totally perfect

it’s got lots of faults but that makes it shines.

 

So here’s to another year of being fierce phat and fabulous…

and here’s to you beautiful people

because I wouldn’t be here without you.