Elton John

Elton John!

The billboard announced

I don’t know what day or even where it is supposed to be but I squealed with excitement and spread my fingers wide like a child reaching for a toy.

Over a decade ago my mother surprised me with tickets to go see Elton John and Billy Joel live at the New Orleans Superdome.

Elton John was a beast.

I always functioned under a perception that you were supposed to tickle the ivories not beat the ever-loving crap out of them. At one point he stood up. Head-banging without dislodging his signature shades which were adhered to his face through the gravitational pull of his planet sized awesomeness.

He kicked his piano bench backwards out of the way like a majestic amethyst covered wildebeest. It must have pissed him off by not moving fast enough because during the musical break he grabbed that bench and went apeshit on it. Taking it by the legs and slamming it into the stage.

There was an actual bench detail to remove the battered remains and replace it with a fresh one.

My mother was completely scandalized.

Her mouth formed a perfect O of surprise.

She placed a hand lightly to her collarbone and the other on my knee for support. Meanwhile I was leaning forward on the edge of my seat screaming “Elton John you’re such a goddamn G. Yeah baby yeahhhhhhh!”

By time Billy Joel came on we were utterly exhausted. We stayed for four songs before calling it quits. We supposedly missed an epic piano duel between the two of them but I’m sure it would have incapacitated us so it was probably for the best.

My mother and I don’t agree on much

-Life “choices”




-Whether or not watching the evening news is safe and sane (for my part it isn’t and being made to watch it while home on visits is totally not consensual).

But Elton John is one of the rare things we seem to be in consensus on… well that and how to make a proper rue.

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