I stay telling my clients that they don’t have to live in discomfort.
I’m so fucking #teamvirgo because I also stay being do as I say not as I do.
From 5 to 17 I lived in saddle oxfords and uniforms. By 18 I was buying my own clothing and shoes so that meant thrift stores, clothing shops and if I needed something new Payless. I knew I was uncomfortable but I knew that I could deal with it.
Today Wednesday gently lured me into a shop while I made soft wookie nosies under my breath to soothe my nerves.
They coaxed me into a pair of shoes that made me so comfortable that I literally took off running and jumping while the sales people laughed.
They then listened as I said I can’t afford, I have debt to pay, if I can’t buy it then I shouldn’t have it. I’m old enough to take care of myself and I got myself in the position of not being able to afford something I so obviously need so this is just something I live with until I can.
I’m in constant pain.
It ranges from a 2 to 7 with a daily median of 5. I was about a 5 in my current gear but when I put on those shoes it dropped to a 2, my posture changed, my hips allowed me a honest to god gait instead of a shuffle.
They held my hand and spoke to me in soft tones while I almost cried because I couldn’t get around myself.
They made a suggestion, a compromise, a way and so now I have shoes that fit, that can go into the garden and down a hill and into a dungeon too if I wanted.
And I have within my own body an understanding of what I so fiercely fight for other people to have on a daily basis.
I didn’t want to be comfortable because I didn’t want to maintain it. More to the point I didn’t want to lose it.
My existence has never been comfortable.
I told myself it could never be comfortable.
I keep getting shown that that is a lie.
A tape recorded so I wouldn’t push back or demand or dream or ask or hope or want.
I’ll slip into these shoes and I’ll push back
I’ll want more.
Thank you Love.