New Meds, Who Dis?

New Meds, Who Dis!?!?!?

My current mix is:
Abilify
Lamictal
Gabapentin
Lexapro tapering down by half

I can’t wait to be off of the Lexapro completely because I am getting the side effects of insomnia.
It’s not safe to just stop right out. The psychiatrist had me cut down by half which was considerable and I am feeling the effects like dizziness, nausea, and some nightmares. The other medications make the nightmares and stress dreams somewhat easier to handle and less traumatic.

The medications that I’m taking right now also mean that I can’t take reglan which was helping my #gastroparesis. Which helped me eat and so not only am I dealing with the withdrawal from Lexapro but also the reglan while still navigating and active #eatingdisorder and the gastroparesis itself.

The abilify gives me medical grade dry mouth which is no joke. It’s like the Sahara in here. It’s making me drink more water which is a plus… being a perpetually dehydrated earth sign, it is definitely a sadomasochistic plus!

My partner says that I shouldn’t have to choose between eating and stability.
I agree.
I’m going to work with my doctors to figure out something.

Right now I’m so happy to be able to just exist. To not constantly have flashbacks that are so visceral that I forget who I am in the moment. I’m so happy to not want to hurt myself. I’m so happy to lay in bed and fall asleep within 15 minutes. My eyes are brighter and my speaking voice has fallen back into my chest instead of being in my head. I’m more present. I’m more here.

I’m afraid to change anything but like a bish literally gotta eat so….

Another psych appointment today. I’m grateful for Bertha sitting in on it with me because I forget so much and tend to downplay how difficult it’s been. Hopefully I can get more clarity on what’s happening to me and continue to live in this new and brighter existence.

#blackandbipolar
#neurodivergent
#newmedswhodis

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