Category: Uncategorized

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The Rules Have(n’t) Changed

You only have so many character points And you can’t go up every talent tree at once When the nurse gave me the results of my MRI I was relived. It was so visceral that my legs got weak and my skin flushed. I had her repeat it just to be sure. “No changes.” Since it had been so long without changes it was … Read More The Rules Have(n’t) Changed

It’s Okay….

It is the second time I hyperventilated that day. The first is when I am informed of the $750.00 copay. “Are you okay?” He asks looking down at me with concern after extracting me from the tube. “Jesus Christ you guys. You saw my medical records. It says I’m fat. Why did yall schedule me for this tiny ass machine” Both technicians visibly blanch … Read More It’s Okay….

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Sing out Louise!

Adults: Children are meant to be seen and not heard Peers: Shut up bucky beaver and go chew a tree Community: The way you talk… you think you too good Past Lover: If you can’t communicate it in a way I can understand then it’s bullshit World: You’re black, you’re fat, you’re a woman… what you say doesn’t matter   Voice Coach: Sing out! … Read More Sing out Louise!

Femme-Feminist-Slut

Hey, So I am writing to let you all know that it is possible to be a femme, a feminist and a slut all at the same time. Do you need time to let that sink in a little? I’ll wait… I know there are several institutions that say something different but I want to let you know that their opinions are like assholes … Read More Femme-Feminist-Slut

Good enough now?

A plush, white, stuffed bunny rabbit with a knit pale pink top hat fucking winked at me. That’s when I knew I was done. 7 years ago I was working 40 hours a week and going to massage school for 16.  After I graduated I still kept that 40 hour a week job and transferred my school hours directly to a massage clinic.  I … Read More Good enough now?

Elton John

I always functioned under a perception that you were supposed to tickle the ivories not beat the ever-loving crap out of them. At one point he stood up. Head-banging without dislodging his signature shades which were adhered to his face through the gravitational pull of his planet sized awesomeness.

The Tree

submissive… but not to you

 Trigger warning (sexual abuse/non- consent/violence) Her: Don’t put yourself in that position anymore Me: Don’t put myself in that position denotes that I could have prevented it by being what…clairvoyant. Damn my lack of ESP now I just have PTSD. Why wasn’t I born a Betazoid!? For reference the “position” was a date with someone that I had spent time with over the course … Read More submissive… but not to you

My Opinion

I have seemed to have reached the point in my life where I find the need to have an opinion.  I am extremely uncomfortable with this because I enjoy being fluid.  I enjoy the ability to see both sides and mediate between  two issues… but more than that I enjoy getting along with people. To be completely honest I enjoy people liking me. And … Read More My Opinion

My Big 3 0

I just turned 30 About five years ago I told myself that by time I turned 30 I would weigh x amount of weight. It was going to be my gift to myself. Finally conforming and squeezing my body into what was “socially acceptable” But some things happened. My life changed and the only weight I lost was 165ish pounds of boyfriend who held … Read More My Big 3 0

Conversations with God #2

Let go ~What Let go ~Dude I totally heard You… let go of what? Everything ~Goddammn’t What? ~That esoteric crap again?! Okay… do you want me to explain? ~Yep… you know mortal brain and all not as complex as Yours I know… kinda sucks to be you.  When I say let go of everything I mean let go of everything you ever thought yourself to be, everything … Read More Conversations with God #2

Death of Hero and Rebirth of Self

But its heart wrenching when that hero “dies” to you… when you have to change how you see them or sever yourself from them in defense. I’m angry because it did not have to be this way. There are alot of things I did wrong partially because I have never had to deal with such an exhausting personality so closely. But even with my … Read More Death of Hero and Rebirth of Self

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