Category: Uncategorized

Conversations with God #2

Let go ~What Let go ~Dude I totally heard You… let go of what? Everything ~Goddammn’t What? ~That esoteric crap again?! Okay… do you want me to explain? ~Yep… you know mortal brain and all not as complex as Yours I know… kinda sucks to be you.  When I say let go of everything I mean let go of everything you ever thought yourself to be, everything … Read More Conversations with God #2

Death of Hero and Rebirth of Self

But its heart wrenching when that hero “dies” to you… when you have to change how you see them or sever yourself from them in defense. I’m angry because it did not have to be this way. There are alot of things I did wrong partially because I have never had to deal with such an exhausting personality so closely. But even with my … Read More Death of Hero and Rebirth of Self

Confessions from the rabbit hole: Kink

I was recently asked the following question:  “How has kink helped you in your day to day life?”  It’s a question I get asked often by people who know me and some who don’t.  Although its most often phrased as: “Why the hell would you do that?” and quickly followed with the  business card of some really highly recommended physiologist being pressed urgently into … Read More Confessions from the rabbit hole: Kink

Baby Mushrooms

For those of you who don’t know we are kinda spoiled out here in California.  Some people out here are actually shocked to realize that racism still exists. When I recount stories from my childhood they cringe and say ooooooommmmmgeeeeeeee seriously dude.  They are rather dismayed to find that in certain areas of the United States your life expectations, habits, and activities are still … Read More Baby Mushrooms

Year in Review

posting early because this weekend I will be too busy doing epic wildness, imbibing epic amounts achol. soaking up mega love rays like sunshine and  in various states of undress in multiple compromising positions (because of a photoshoot you wonderful freakniks)     A few days ago I wanted to crawl into a tub, slit my wrists and drown in my own emo-globin. Don’t … Read More Year in Review


I’ve been eating fire for the past few months. Dre had noticed it. Everything has been all cayenne and chili pepper flakes, wasabi, ginger and garlic, noodles doused in unnaturally flaming crimson  Sriracha Roster sauce, Louisiana Crystal Hot red dripping from a white and blue bottle burning down my throat.  I’ve been eating fire to keep from screaming my own red hot rage. It … Read More Dehydrated

How I really feel

I can’t sleep My throat is closing up and it’s because I have been holding back things that I have really wanted to say.  A part of me wants to be objective about this thing but I bigger part of me is saying fuck it. I really can’t afford to get sick again So I’m just gonna go ahead and say how I really feel. Congratulations, … Read More How I really feel

Fat on Phat Violence

Disclaimers: the following post contains multiple, continuous and flagrantly shameless use of the words: fuck, bitch, and FAT If any of these words offend you or if you’re one of my former English teachers please navigate away from this page now Dear Ungrateful Fat Bitches, WTF nobody put’s baby in a corner I expected hate from the “mainstream” but from you. You’re breaking my … Read More Fat on Phat Violence


Another Day

Another day and I am so far behind… I just cant seem to catch up any more and sometimes I just want to lay in the haze that I am in… I feel so depressed so stuck … so worried. I am tired of everything at the moment. I want to cry and scream and kick and say poor me!!!! My life is a … Read More Another Day



I have not idea what the hell is going on. I caught a cold… a hell of a cold a few days ago.  Just when it looked like I was getting better I got struck with a sudden bout of insomnia.  I did manage to get some stuff done.  I finished a book that I was reading Wyrms by Orson Scott Card.  It is … Read More Meh

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